Shiva's day out!

“Sir, I have got a great idea to improve our business” declared my Office boy Shiva Kumar (Shiva). Off late, it has become a habit for anybody walking across my office to offer advice on how to improve my business. Shivakumar is with us for the past four years and he has every right to offer his suggestion.

“First you tell me your idea then I will tell you whether it is great or not”, I said keeping the news paper aside, satisfied that I had finished the paper end to end.

“Sir, we should perform Sudarshana Homam and Satyanarayan Puja in our office. If we do that, our business will multiply five times, pakka, 101%” said Shiva, showing his finger to the ceiling.

“Our business is zero. If it multiplies five times, it will still be zero”.

“No Sir, honestly sir, we did that homam and puja in my last company and the business went up five fold” he strongly recommended.

“Puja, guja not necessary, you go and do your work”.

Mumbling that there is no work in the office to do, he went straight to our receptionist, Delores Blake. She is a cute, bouncy, sweet little thing. And she melts in phone. Precisely for that reason she is in our office.

‘Fivefold increase’ I started thinking. “Shiva” I called and he came running. He gets special josh to get pujas performed. “How much will it cost to do homam and puja?”

“Nothing much, sir, we have to pay “dakshina” to the priests, they will bring all the material and we have to spend extra for the pooja prasad. We don’t need to do anything”.

A phone call interrupted me. By the time I finished the calls from an UPS sales man, an invite for campus interview, and an Insurance agent, Shiva had already disappeared.“Shiva” I called out.

Delores came in and said “Sir, he has gone to Banashanakari to arrange Swamijis for Satyanasa Puja”.

“It is Satyanarayan Puja and they are not swamijis but are priests” I corrected her.

“And he has taken Rs 2000 to pay advance to them. He said that you had agreed. Sir, we also performed that puja in my earlier office and the business shot up”. It is difficult to get angry with this bouncy, sweet, little thing.

My wife rang up. “Shiva tells me that we are performing Sudarshana Homam and Satyanarayan Puja. Atlast, something useful happening in the office. Our neighbor Chitra tells me that the Puja was performed in her husband’s office too. She, Latha and my mother will be coming. Your sister can also come (a concession!). Will I get a new saree?” The call ended. And it seems all the companies are performing pujas only now.

Shiva came back in the afternoon. “Shiva, what is going on? You didn’t get my approval for anything and you are confirming everything to everybody. What do you think of yourself?” I pounced on him.

“Sir you are lucky" he said unperturbed. "Priests are available for Friday, the day after tomorrow. They are totally seven. Everything will be over within Rs 20000”.

“20000? Seven priests? And day after tomorrow?” I brought the ceiling down.

“It is very cheap sir. They gave a concession due to the market condition. Considering that the business will go up five times, we should not mind this”. Folding his fingers one by one, he said, ‘They will do Ganesh Puja, Navagraha Puja, Mandala Puja, Sudarshana Homam and Satyanarayan Puja. And Friday is Poornima day. Business will improve, pakka, 101%”. “Yes sir” Delores also joined.

“Delores, what do you know about pujas, you keep quiet”.

She gave a lecture on management. “Sir it is all team work and we should involve everyone. It is good for the company, after all. If the company prospers, we all prosper." She went on, exercising her charm by leaning to the front, "I know all about this puja. I only arranged for prasad from Anand Sweets in my last company. I will take care of sweets and decoration and Shiva will take care of the rest. We should do this Puja with lot of shrada. When you perform the puja, you have to take off your shirt, you know”.

Shiva and Delores always fight. It is fun to watch these two fight and that is the only past itme for me. ‘How is it that these two are supporting each other now’ I wondered.

IT WAS FRIDAY. “Om Shantaya Namaha, Om Sarva-beeshta-pradaeine namaha, Om Sharanyaya namaha…” The mantras were reverberating on the walls and glasses of our office. It was resonating all across the street and the seven saffron clad purohits were doing their job. They were muscular, shining and there was thejus in their face. My wife was happy with her new saree and with her friends around her. The “sweet little thing’ was also very happy, wearing a saree unusually, that too for a Friday and she too had her friends invited. All her friends, with short tops, low jeans and heady perfume, looked like Revolver Ritas and were distracting the priests. Shiva was very busy taking care of priests and was muttering something in the ears of the chief priest looking at his watch frequently.

The puja got over at 3.00 pm. The priests were liberal in sprinkling theerth (holy water) with mango leaves on me and my cabin. They wished me good luck, distributed prasad to everybody, took the money given by Shiva and left.

I saw Delores again distributing sweets to everybody and they were all wishing her for something. She came to my room offering Kaju kathli. “Why are you giving sweets again? Prasad was already distributed!” I asked.

“Sir today is my birthday and that’s why I am wearing a new saree, didn’t you notice?” I noticed. She looked a blue angel with blue saree, blue blouse, blue jewelry, blue tikka, except that she was blushing pink.

“But I thought you are wearing the saree especially for the puja. And, you should buy sweets for your birthday on your money rather than giving puja sweets!”

“Sir, there is nothing like mine and yours. It is all ours. And it is team work” She lectured and went on, “Sir please meet my friends; Tina, Jessy, Jerena, Flomina, Jasmine, Rosy and Bina. We are leaving now as I am having my birthday party. After all, we cannot work after the puja”.

“That is for Ayuda puja.” I corrected her. I didn’t want to be a villain in front of those Revolver Ritas. “Anyway, you can go. But please send Shiva in”

“Sir, Shiva has gone to his house with Swamijis. They are performing puja there.”

“Puja in his house?”

“Sir, Shiva had moved into a new house recently and since then he wanted to perform these homam and puja in his house. Upon checking his horoscope last week, the swamiji fixed today’s date for him to do the puja. By combining the puja at the office today, Shiva got the puja deal free at his house!”

By combining her birthday and his puja with office puja, both had made me a bakra, 101%!