Thanks to all the pujas and homams, Recession blues are nearing an end. Indian Stock market is showing an upward movement, malls get their footfalls, property advertisements adorn the newspapers and exhibition halls are well booked. No more excuses not to work.
Transition from recession is equally complex. Entrepreneurs have to get business, employees have to review their career options and pink slipped employees have to get jobs. During the last one year of recession period, many entrepreneurs and professionals would have developed a particular style of living, working and spending of time. Personal financing, skill endowment and planning for health care could have been the focus areas for many. But along with this, lethargy and unnecessary spending of time on internet would have also set in. So, what are the activities to be continued, dispensed with and initiated?
For example, should we continue to be active in all the social networking sites which we enrolled? How does one fill the gap in the resume? Post recession, what will be the new opportunities?
I for one, feel that one has to now capitalize on the work that he or she had put in for the last few months. Convert the social network to physical network and make it count. Renew the old contacts. Close the Notebooks, come out of cozy office and go to market.
Let us brain storm and help each other; either on the web or on the floor. Count me in please.
Monday, August 31, 2009
Mission accomplished!
Year 1972. I joined as one of the Graduate Trainees and got posted to the Personnel Department of one of the factories of a big company. Our orientation started with the General Manager explaining about the Mission statement of the organization. Vision was not explained, perhaps because it was a Unit. As was the norm, the Mission statement was hung on the walls of Reception, Conference hall, Personnel office, Canteen, GM's office etc.
Within three months of my joining, the Chairman was visiting our plant for a day. The sleepy plant suddenly came alive. All the heads of the department were instructed to keep their sections spic and span and ensure that every staff and worker were in their work spot when the Chairman came.
The Chairman came. As luck would have it, the canteen manager bunked. The Personnel Manager sent me to the canteen to oversee the operation. The first job was to send the Tea to the factory exactly at 11.00 AM so that the workers could get back to their spot before the Chairman came there.
It was 10.30 AM and I was going around the kitchen. A canteen worker was boiling the milk of about 200 liters in a big open vessel. As we were watching, a small cockroach fell on the boiling milk. Except me and him, no one else saw the insect falling. We both tried to remove the cockroach, which was dead by then, but it was going up and down the boiling milk. We could not trace the small cockroach. The worker slightly tilted the container using a cloth so that I could find and remove the insect. I removed the insect with the ladle but the container went out of balance. The whole milk spilled down the drain.
No extra milk was available. No time to procure. No tea was sent to the factory. PM was not to be seen. Relenting to the fate, I concentrated on the preparation of lunch.
Workers at the factory waited for some time, grew impatient by 11.15 and started crowding the tea counter by 11.30 leaving their work spot. Oblivious to all this, the GM, along with some HoDs and PM, was guiding the Chairman to that specific area at that time. GM was shocked to see all the workers standing and chatting at the counter. It was not the scene or the screen play that he wrote! The Chairman came, shook hands with a couple of workers, enquired how they were doing and quietly went.
Evening 4.00 o’clock. The Chairman was seen off. The GM was in his chair, surrounded by all the HoDs with mixed reactions in their face. They had, by then, got to know the reason for the workers not in their work spot in the morning. Obviously, I had been blamed and I was summoned. I was a Trainee. GM would not talk to me! So the PM asked me for explanation.
I narrated. A small cockroach fell on the boiling milk due to the pesticide operation done in the morning and I had to throw the milk. So no tea was sent. (I don’t know why I didn’t say that we spilled the milk).
PM pounced on me. “So what, you could have removed the cockroach. It was small. It was not poisonous and no one else saw”. He went on and on. Apparently, he had to save his skin.
I was just staring at the wall. I was in a haze. It was a hard day. Fortunately, my eyes fell on the Mission statement that was adorning the wall. I quietly pointed out to the gang there, our Value statement which said “Employee Safety is the utmost concern of the organization”.
There were some mumblings, some warnings. But then, I was let off.
Who says that Mission statements are not useful?
Within three months of my joining, the Chairman was visiting our plant for a day. The sleepy plant suddenly came alive. All the heads of the department were instructed to keep their sections spic and span and ensure that every staff and worker were in their work spot when the Chairman came.
The Chairman came. As luck would have it, the canteen manager bunked. The Personnel Manager sent me to the canteen to oversee the operation. The first job was to send the Tea to the factory exactly at 11.00 AM so that the workers could get back to their spot before the Chairman came there.
It was 10.30 AM and I was going around the kitchen. A canteen worker was boiling the milk of about 200 liters in a big open vessel. As we were watching, a small cockroach fell on the boiling milk. Except me and him, no one else saw the insect falling. We both tried to remove the cockroach, which was dead by then, but it was going up and down the boiling milk. We could not trace the small cockroach. The worker slightly tilted the container using a cloth so that I could find and remove the insect. I removed the insect with the ladle but the container went out of balance. The whole milk spilled down the drain.
No extra milk was available. No time to procure. No tea was sent to the factory. PM was not to be seen. Relenting to the fate, I concentrated on the preparation of lunch.
Workers at the factory waited for some time, grew impatient by 11.15 and started crowding the tea counter by 11.30 leaving their work spot. Oblivious to all this, the GM, along with some HoDs and PM, was guiding the Chairman to that specific area at that time. GM was shocked to see all the workers standing and chatting at the counter. It was not the scene or the screen play that he wrote! The Chairman came, shook hands with a couple of workers, enquired how they were doing and quietly went.
Evening 4.00 o’clock. The Chairman was seen off. The GM was in his chair, surrounded by all the HoDs with mixed reactions in their face. They had, by then, got to know the reason for the workers not in their work spot in the morning. Obviously, I had been blamed and I was summoned. I was a Trainee. GM would not talk to me! So the PM asked me for explanation.
I narrated. A small cockroach fell on the boiling milk due to the pesticide operation done in the morning and I had to throw the milk. So no tea was sent. (I don’t know why I didn’t say that we spilled the milk).
PM pounced on me. “So what, you could have removed the cockroach. It was small. It was not poisonous and no one else saw”. He went on and on. Apparently, he had to save his skin.
I was just staring at the wall. I was in a haze. It was a hard day. Fortunately, my eyes fell on the Mission statement that was adorning the wall. I quietly pointed out to the gang there, our Value statement which said “Employee Safety is the utmost concern of the organization”.
There were some mumblings, some warnings. But then, I was let off.
Who says that Mission statements are not useful?
Shiva's day out!
“Sir, I have got a great idea to improve our business” declared my Office boy Shiva Kumar (Shiva). Off late, it has become a habit for anybody walking across my office to offer advice on how to improve my business. Shivakumar is with us for the past four years and he has every right to offer his suggestion.
“First you tell me your idea then I will tell you whether it is great or not”, I said keeping the news paper aside, satisfied that I had finished the paper end to end.
“Sir, we should perform Sudarshana Homam and Satyanarayan Puja in our office. If we do that, our business will multiply five times, pakka, 101%” said Shiva, showing his finger to the ceiling.
“Our business is zero. If it multiplies five times, it will still be zero”.
“No Sir, honestly sir, we did that homam and puja in my last company and the business went up five fold” he strongly recommended.
“Puja, guja not necessary, you go and do your work”.
Mumbling that there is no work in the office to do, he went straight to our receptionist, Delores Blake. She is a cute, bouncy, sweet little thing. And she melts in phone. Precisely for that reason she is in our office.
‘Fivefold increase’ I started thinking. “Shiva” I called and he came running. He gets special josh to get pujas performed. “How much will it cost to do homam and puja?”
“Nothing much, sir, we have to pay “dakshina” to the priests, they will bring all the material and we have to spend extra for the pooja prasad. We don’t need to do anything”.
A phone call interrupted me. By the time I finished the calls from an UPS sales man, an invite for campus interview, and an Insurance agent, Shiva had already disappeared.“Shiva” I called out.
Delores came in and said “Sir, he has gone to Banashanakari to arrange Swamijis for Satyanasa Puja”.
“It is Satyanarayan Puja and they are not swamijis but are priests” I corrected her.
“And he has taken Rs 2000 to pay advance to them. He said that you had agreed. Sir, we also performed that puja in my earlier office and the business shot up”. It is difficult to get angry with this bouncy, sweet, little thing.
My wife rang up. “Shiva tells me that we are performing Sudarshana Homam and Satyanarayan Puja. Atlast, something useful happening in the office. Our neighbor Chitra tells me that the Puja was performed in her husband’s office too. She, Latha and my mother will be coming. Your sister can also come (a concession!). Will I get a new saree?” The call ended. And it seems all the companies are performing pujas only now.
Shiva came back in the afternoon. “Shiva, what is going on? You didn’t get my approval for anything and you are confirming everything to everybody. What do you think of yourself?” I pounced on him.
“Sir you are lucky" he said unperturbed. "Priests are available for Friday, the day after tomorrow. They are totally seven. Everything will be over within Rs 20000”.
“20000? Seven priests? And day after tomorrow?” I brought the ceiling down.
“It is very cheap sir. They gave a concession due to the market condition. Considering that the business will go up five times, we should not mind this”. Folding his fingers one by one, he said, ‘They will do Ganesh Puja, Navagraha Puja, Mandala Puja, Sudarshana Homam and Satyanarayan Puja. And Friday is Poornima day. Business will improve, pakka, 101%”. “Yes sir” Delores also joined.
“Delores, what do you know about pujas, you keep quiet”.
She gave a lecture on management. “Sir it is all team work and we should involve everyone. It is good for the company, after all. If the company prospers, we all prosper." She went on, exercising her charm by leaning to the front, "I know all about this puja. I only arranged for prasad from Anand Sweets in my last company. I will take care of sweets and decoration and Shiva will take care of the rest. We should do this Puja with lot of shrada. When you perform the puja, you have to take off your shirt, you know”.
Shiva and Delores always fight. It is fun to watch these two fight and that is the only past itme for me. ‘How is it that these two are supporting each other now’ I wondered.
IT WAS FRIDAY. “Om Shantaya Namaha, Om Sarva-beeshta-pradaeine namaha, Om Sharanyaya namaha…” The mantras were reverberating on the walls and glasses of our office. It was resonating all across the street and the seven saffron clad purohits were doing their job. They were muscular, shining and there was thejus in their face. My wife was happy with her new saree and with her friends around her. The “sweet little thing’ was also very happy, wearing a saree unusually, that too for a Friday and she too had her friends invited. All her friends, with short tops, low jeans and heady perfume, looked like Revolver Ritas and were distracting the priests. Shiva was very busy taking care of priests and was muttering something in the ears of the chief priest looking at his watch frequently.
The puja got over at 3.00 pm. The priests were liberal in sprinkling theerth (holy water) with mango leaves on me and my cabin. They wished me good luck, distributed prasad to everybody, took the money given by Shiva and left.
I saw Delores again distributing sweets to everybody and they were all wishing her for something. She came to my room offering Kaju kathli. “Why are you giving sweets again? Prasad was already distributed!” I asked.
“Sir today is my birthday and that’s why I am wearing a new saree, didn’t you notice?” I noticed. She looked a blue angel with blue saree, blue blouse, blue jewelry, blue tikka, except that she was blushing pink.
“But I thought you are wearing the saree especially for the puja. And, you should buy sweets for your birthday on your money rather than giving puja sweets!”
“Sir, there is nothing like mine and yours. It is all ours. And it is team work” She lectured and went on, “Sir please meet my friends; Tina, Jessy, Jerena, Flomina, Jasmine, Rosy and Bina. We are leaving now as I am having my birthday party. After all, we cannot work after the puja”.
“That is for Ayuda puja.” I corrected her. I didn’t want to be a villain in front of those Revolver Ritas. “Anyway, you can go. But please send Shiva in”
“Sir, Shiva has gone to his house with Swamijis. They are performing puja there.”
“Puja in his house?”
“Sir, Shiva had moved into a new house recently and since then he wanted to perform these homam and puja in his house. Upon checking his horoscope last week, the swamiji fixed today’s date for him to do the puja. By combining the puja at the office today, Shiva got the puja deal free at his house!”
By combining her birthday and his puja with office puja, both had made me a bakra, 101%!
“First you tell me your idea then I will tell you whether it is great or not”, I said keeping the news paper aside, satisfied that I had finished the paper end to end.
“Sir, we should perform Sudarshana Homam and Satyanarayan Puja in our office. If we do that, our business will multiply five times, pakka, 101%” said Shiva, showing his finger to the ceiling.
“Our business is zero. If it multiplies five times, it will still be zero”.
“No Sir, honestly sir, we did that homam and puja in my last company and the business went up five fold” he strongly recommended.
“Puja, guja not necessary, you go and do your work”.
Mumbling that there is no work in the office to do, he went straight to our receptionist, Delores Blake. She is a cute, bouncy, sweet little thing. And she melts in phone. Precisely for that reason she is in our office.
‘Fivefold increase’ I started thinking. “Shiva” I called and he came running. He gets special josh to get pujas performed. “How much will it cost to do homam and puja?”
“Nothing much, sir, we have to pay “dakshina” to the priests, they will bring all the material and we have to spend extra for the pooja prasad. We don’t need to do anything”.
A phone call interrupted me. By the time I finished the calls from an UPS sales man, an invite for campus interview, and an Insurance agent, Shiva had already disappeared.“Shiva” I called out.
Delores came in and said “Sir, he has gone to Banashanakari to arrange Swamijis for Satyanasa Puja”.
“It is Satyanarayan Puja and they are not swamijis but are priests” I corrected her.
“And he has taken Rs 2000 to pay advance to them. He said that you had agreed. Sir, we also performed that puja in my earlier office and the business shot up”. It is difficult to get angry with this bouncy, sweet, little thing.
My wife rang up. “Shiva tells me that we are performing Sudarshana Homam and Satyanarayan Puja. Atlast, something useful happening in the office. Our neighbor Chitra tells me that the Puja was performed in her husband’s office too. She, Latha and my mother will be coming. Your sister can also come (a concession!). Will I get a new saree?” The call ended. And it seems all the companies are performing pujas only now.
Shiva came back in the afternoon. “Shiva, what is going on? You didn’t get my approval for anything and you are confirming everything to everybody. What do you think of yourself?” I pounced on him.
“Sir you are lucky" he said unperturbed. "Priests are available for Friday, the day after tomorrow. They are totally seven. Everything will be over within Rs 20000”.
“20000? Seven priests? And day after tomorrow?” I brought the ceiling down.
“It is very cheap sir. They gave a concession due to the market condition. Considering that the business will go up five times, we should not mind this”. Folding his fingers one by one, he said, ‘They will do Ganesh Puja, Navagraha Puja, Mandala Puja, Sudarshana Homam and Satyanarayan Puja. And Friday is Poornima day. Business will improve, pakka, 101%”. “Yes sir” Delores also joined.
“Delores, what do you know about pujas, you keep quiet”.
She gave a lecture on management. “Sir it is all team work and we should involve everyone. It is good for the company, after all. If the company prospers, we all prosper." She went on, exercising her charm by leaning to the front, "I know all about this puja. I only arranged for prasad from Anand Sweets in my last company. I will take care of sweets and decoration and Shiva will take care of the rest. We should do this Puja with lot of shrada. When you perform the puja, you have to take off your shirt, you know”.
Shiva and Delores always fight. It is fun to watch these two fight and that is the only past itme for me. ‘How is it that these two are supporting each other now’ I wondered.
IT WAS FRIDAY. “Om Shantaya Namaha, Om Sarva-beeshta-pradaeine namaha, Om Sharanyaya namaha…” The mantras were reverberating on the walls and glasses of our office. It was resonating all across the street and the seven saffron clad purohits were doing their job. They were muscular, shining and there was thejus in their face. My wife was happy with her new saree and with her friends around her. The “sweet little thing’ was also very happy, wearing a saree unusually, that too for a Friday and she too had her friends invited. All her friends, with short tops, low jeans and heady perfume, looked like Revolver Ritas and were distracting the priests. Shiva was very busy taking care of priests and was muttering something in the ears of the chief priest looking at his watch frequently.
The puja got over at 3.00 pm. The priests were liberal in sprinkling theerth (holy water) with mango leaves on me and my cabin. They wished me good luck, distributed prasad to everybody, took the money given by Shiva and left.
I saw Delores again distributing sweets to everybody and they were all wishing her for something. She came to my room offering Kaju kathli. “Why are you giving sweets again? Prasad was already distributed!” I asked.
“Sir today is my birthday and that’s why I am wearing a new saree, didn’t you notice?” I noticed. She looked a blue angel with blue saree, blue blouse, blue jewelry, blue tikka, except that she was blushing pink.
“But I thought you are wearing the saree especially for the puja. And, you should buy sweets for your birthday on your money rather than giving puja sweets!”
“Sir, there is nothing like mine and yours. It is all ours. And it is team work” She lectured and went on, “Sir please meet my friends; Tina, Jessy, Jerena, Flomina, Jasmine, Rosy and Bina. We are leaving now as I am having my birthday party. After all, we cannot work after the puja”.
“That is for Ayuda puja.” I corrected her. I didn’t want to be a villain in front of those Revolver Ritas. “Anyway, you can go. But please send Shiva in”
“Sir, Shiva has gone to his house with Swamijis. They are performing puja there.”
“Puja in his house?”
“Sir, Shiva had moved into a new house recently and since then he wanted to perform these homam and puja in his house. Upon checking his horoscope last week, the swamiji fixed today’s date for him to do the puja. By combining the puja at the office today, Shiva got the puja deal free at his house!”
By combining her birthday and his puja with office puja, both had made me a bakra, 101%!
Seizing the moment!
3rd July 09, 6.30 pm, Friday. I was clearing my desk to leave. It was a hard week of idling with another idle week lurking ahead. And the Wimbledon men’s semifinal was to commence in thirty minutes. What could be the better way to drown your sorrow and at the same time lift your spirits than having a drink with your friend!
Then the phone rang. “Kumar, please buy a cricket bat for the boy next door. It is his birthday today. Join us for the dinner there. Buy also a toilet broom. Your toilet is stinking”. My wife was screaming over backround noise.
“Toilet broom and bat, from where?” I asked. “From Big Bazaar, Koramangala” she screamed. How do these women sense what we men are up to! They can never let a man have a beer in peace. “But I am having my dinner out and ..…”. She had already disconnected and gone.
My office is just five minutes drive from Big Bazaar. ‘If only I can grab the material, hand it over to my wife fast, then I can still make it to my friend’s place’ I thought. I decided not to park the car at the basement but at one of the side roads so that I can go in and come out soon. But it was dark, there was hardly any parking space and I went up and down in the one way street risking traffic violation. I saw someone taking the car out in a side road and I parked my car in a jiffy. I took my IBM lap top from the rear seat and secured it nicely under my seat in the front. Laptop is my sole occupation in the office.
I ran to Big Bazzar, grabbed a wooden cricket bat of medium size and a plastic broom in five minutes but it took 20 minutes to pay the bill. When I came out, it started drizzling. ‘The toilet broom doesn’t need a carry-bag” I decided. Removed the broom from the bag, tied the carry-bag to my head in order not to get wet, held the bat and broom in each hand and ran to the car in the drizzle.
As I ran to the side road I saw a guy standing near my car with the front door open and having my lap top in his shoulder. It was dark and I couldn’t see his face clearly. I shouted and ran swinging my bat and broom towards him. He got couple of nice hits both from my bat and the broom. I snatched the laptop bag and with couple of more hits he started running. My carry bag had now fully fallen over my face.
“Idiot, you thief”, I screamed and was panting. ‘A close shave’, I thought holding my laptop tightly. I deposited the materials in the passenger seat next to me and tried to start the car. The ignition key didn’t turn and it didn’t start. Cursing, I turned back and I saw a few grocery bags in the rear seat which were not mine. I came out of the car and realized that it was also a Baleno but not my car! I could see my car parked a few meters away and it was the only car parked facing the opposite direction.
I realized that I made a fool of myself. I took my belongings from his car, locked his car with power buttons, drove my car and came to the Koramangala police station. I saw the “thief” sitting in front of the police inspector narrating the incident in agitated tone. The guy couldn’t recognize me without the broom and bat in hand and the bag in my head.
I almost fell on his feet, apologized and explained to the inspector. I told the guy that his car and his stuff were safe and offered to take him there. But he was very angry. His shoulder was hurting. Thanks to the broom, there were few scratches on his face.
“You are a witch, a mad and stupid guy. You don’t have any manners. You looked a robber and terrorist combined, what sort of a man are you?” He went on and on. “I am not mad or a witch” I protested. “It was a mistaken identity”.
In the meantime, the guy picked up the lathi that was lying there and wanted to demonstrate how I beat him. Thankfully the inspector snatched it back.
As we were trading charges, the inspector intervened and told me the consequences of my action including imprisonment. I got scared. “No sir, it was not intentional sir, dark sir, raining sir, and my car was facing the other side sir”. I had never put so many sirs even to my Chairman.
My last words landed me in another problem. “Tell me, how did you enter the street? It was one way!” The inspector, in the midst of getting frequent phone calls asked.
“Na na na, tha tha, ba ba ba” I was blabbering some swarams.
Inspector was getting impatient with calls and my alabana. “See, you had hit him. So it was alright that he called you a witchu, a monsteru, an idiotu, a terroristu, a robberu, a mad and a stupid guy. Instead of fighting, why don’t you two guys go out and have a beer?”
This made our guy laugh hearing more adjectives. Seizing the moment, I put my hand on his shoulder apologetically, offered to drop him near his car and took him in my car. I explained to him how his car and his IBM laptop bag were similar to mine and that caused confusion. We were laughing. I promised a treat. We went to Srikrishna Café and had coffee. I came to know that he recently became a RYZE BBN member when I said that I would be posting this incident!
Then I told him jokingly that it was all the more fun hitting a fellow Ryzer.
He said politely, “Kumar, finish your coffee quickly and go home. You have got a toilet to clean!
Then the phone rang. “Kumar, please buy a cricket bat for the boy next door. It is his birthday today. Join us for the dinner there. Buy also a toilet broom. Your toilet is stinking”. My wife was screaming over backround noise.
“Toilet broom and bat, from where?” I asked. “From Big Bazaar, Koramangala” she screamed. How do these women sense what we men are up to! They can never let a man have a beer in peace. “But I am having my dinner out and ..…”. She had already disconnected and gone.
My office is just five minutes drive from Big Bazaar. ‘If only I can grab the material, hand it over to my wife fast, then I can still make it to my friend’s place’ I thought. I decided not to park the car at the basement but at one of the side roads so that I can go in and come out soon. But it was dark, there was hardly any parking space and I went up and down in the one way street risking traffic violation. I saw someone taking the car out in a side road and I parked my car in a jiffy. I took my IBM lap top from the rear seat and secured it nicely under my seat in the front. Laptop is my sole occupation in the office.
I ran to Big Bazzar, grabbed a wooden cricket bat of medium size and a plastic broom in five minutes but it took 20 minutes to pay the bill. When I came out, it started drizzling. ‘The toilet broom doesn’t need a carry-bag” I decided. Removed the broom from the bag, tied the carry-bag to my head in order not to get wet, held the bat and broom in each hand and ran to the car in the drizzle.
As I ran to the side road I saw a guy standing near my car with the front door open and having my lap top in his shoulder. It was dark and I couldn’t see his face clearly. I shouted and ran swinging my bat and broom towards him. He got couple of nice hits both from my bat and the broom. I snatched the laptop bag and with couple of more hits he started running. My carry bag had now fully fallen over my face.
“Idiot, you thief”, I screamed and was panting. ‘A close shave’, I thought holding my laptop tightly. I deposited the materials in the passenger seat next to me and tried to start the car. The ignition key didn’t turn and it didn’t start. Cursing, I turned back and I saw a few grocery bags in the rear seat which were not mine. I came out of the car and realized that it was also a Baleno but not my car! I could see my car parked a few meters away and it was the only car parked facing the opposite direction.
I realized that I made a fool of myself. I took my belongings from his car, locked his car with power buttons, drove my car and came to the Koramangala police station. I saw the “thief” sitting in front of the police inspector narrating the incident in agitated tone. The guy couldn’t recognize me without the broom and bat in hand and the bag in my head.
I almost fell on his feet, apologized and explained to the inspector. I told the guy that his car and his stuff were safe and offered to take him there. But he was very angry. His shoulder was hurting. Thanks to the broom, there were few scratches on his face.
“You are a witch, a mad and stupid guy. You don’t have any manners. You looked a robber and terrorist combined, what sort of a man are you?” He went on and on. “I am not mad or a witch” I protested. “It was a mistaken identity”.
In the meantime, the guy picked up the lathi that was lying there and wanted to demonstrate how I beat him. Thankfully the inspector snatched it back.
As we were trading charges, the inspector intervened and told me the consequences of my action including imprisonment. I got scared. “No sir, it was not intentional sir, dark sir, raining sir, and my car was facing the other side sir”. I had never put so many sirs even to my Chairman.
My last words landed me in another problem. “Tell me, how did you enter the street? It was one way!” The inspector, in the midst of getting frequent phone calls asked.
“Na na na, tha tha, ba ba ba” I was blabbering some swarams.
Inspector was getting impatient with calls and my alabana. “See, you had hit him. So it was alright that he called you a witchu, a monsteru, an idiotu, a terroristu, a robberu, a mad and a stupid guy. Instead of fighting, why don’t you two guys go out and have a beer?”
This made our guy laugh hearing more adjectives. Seizing the moment, I put my hand on his shoulder apologetically, offered to drop him near his car and took him in my car. I explained to him how his car and his IBM laptop bag were similar to mine and that caused confusion. We were laughing. I promised a treat. We went to Srikrishna Café and had coffee. I came to know that he recently became a RYZE BBN member when I said that I would be posting this incident!
Then I told him jokingly that it was all the more fun hitting a fellow Ryzer.
He said politely, “Kumar, finish your coffee quickly and go home. You have got a toilet to clean!
Egg on the face!
After successfully negotiating and bringing down the price of a cup of tea from Rs 4 to Rs 3.75 with my teawalla, (explaining economic recession, cost control, value proposition etc), I thought it was time for a few game of FreeCell.
In came two guys in their mid thirties, smartly dressed and looking surprised to see me sitting alone in a big office in Koramangala. They were just looking around my office, the computer systems and the décor and nodding their heads in approval. I thought they are my prospective clients who had come to see my place in response to my advertisement “office space to share”.
“Yes, how can I help you?” I looked up and asked.
“Sir, can we have a few minutes of your time please?”
“I am a little busy (playing FreeCell), but still, I can spare a few minutes. Please, sit down.”
“Sir, we saw your posting in RYZE offering office space and also counseling/advisory service for start ups. We are starting a new business and we want some help from you. We heard that you are a successful entrepreneur yourself and you had helped many start ups”.
(Stupid! If I were successful, why am I sitting here alone like this?). “Oh sure, sure, you know I am a serial entrepreneur (failed in many businesses). Helped many start ups (to wind up). It is a long story any way. But tell me, what business are you guys thinking of? And what’s your background? And, how can I help you?” I asked with an air of authority.
They explained. Both of them were engineers, each with about 10 years of experience in IT companies. One was working on Mobile Application Development and another was on Business Analytics and Design. Both got retrenched very recently from big companies and are not getting any jobs. They have a saving of about Rs 50 lakhs individually apart from investment on properties. Both were well travelled, well connected and well oiled.
“So, you want to start a business on Mobile Communication” I said with confidence, connecting both their expertise.
“No sir, we want to start a bakery business and we want your help” said the BAD guy (Business Analytics and Design guy).
“Bakery business?” I thundered. My words echoed seven times in the empty hall. “What is the synergy”?
“Sir, I like biscuits and chocolates. His brother-in-law has got a bakery in Ernagulam. My “ungle” is in Saudi. So, we want to make Biscuits, cakes, bread, burger base and pizza base and sell them to big hotels and also to small bakeries” said the MAD guy (Mobile Application Development guy).
“And I know how to route and distribute them through different channels. I have analyzed the business and there is big scope for growth” said the BAD guy.
“You know, McDonald has already agreed to take 500 kgs of buns and cakes from us every day”….the MAD guy.
“We have also taken on lease an 18500 sq ft factory space at Hennur. We are arranging 50hp uninterrupted power supply. Factory will work two shifts initially, going to 3 shifts in six months”. We have already lined up for 20 tempos on hire for transportation”. …BAD
“Twenty tempos? What will you do with them?” I asked.
Sir, we have to get 5000 fresh eggs every day. They can’t be sourced from a single point. We have to collect them from different nodal points and bring them to one centralized point. Tempos are required for this purpose.
“Ok, very good. You guys seem to have already done lot of ground work. I am sure you would have drafted a business plan too. What do you want me to look at and how do you want me to help?” I asked.
“Sir, we came to know through RYZE that you have this place to let out in Koramangala. It is a central place with good parking space. If only you remove those computer systems and the cabins, we would like to take it on rent. It will be an ideal central place for us to collect the eggs, store them here and transport them to Hennur”!!
You have to see egg on my face, to believe!
In came two guys in their mid thirties, smartly dressed and looking surprised to see me sitting alone in a big office in Koramangala. They were just looking around my office, the computer systems and the décor and nodding their heads in approval. I thought they are my prospective clients who had come to see my place in response to my advertisement “office space to share”.
“Yes, how can I help you?” I looked up and asked.
“Sir, can we have a few minutes of your time please?”
“I am a little busy (playing FreeCell), but still, I can spare a few minutes. Please, sit down.”
“Sir, we saw your posting in RYZE offering office space and also counseling/advisory service for start ups. We are starting a new business and we want some help from you. We heard that you are a successful entrepreneur yourself and you had helped many start ups”.
(Stupid! If I were successful, why am I sitting here alone like this?). “Oh sure, sure, you know I am a serial entrepreneur (failed in many businesses). Helped many start ups (to wind up). It is a long story any way. But tell me, what business are you guys thinking of? And what’s your background? And, how can I help you?” I asked with an air of authority.
They explained. Both of them were engineers, each with about 10 years of experience in IT companies. One was working on Mobile Application Development and another was on Business Analytics and Design. Both got retrenched very recently from big companies and are not getting any jobs. They have a saving of about Rs 50 lakhs individually apart from investment on properties. Both were well travelled, well connected and well oiled.
“So, you want to start a business on Mobile Communication” I said with confidence, connecting both their expertise.
“No sir, we want to start a bakery business and we want your help” said the BAD guy (Business Analytics and Design guy).
“Bakery business?” I thundered. My words echoed seven times in the empty hall. “What is the synergy”?
“Sir, I like biscuits and chocolates. His brother-in-law has got a bakery in Ernagulam. My “ungle” is in Saudi. So, we want to make Biscuits, cakes, bread, burger base and pizza base and sell them to big hotels and also to small bakeries” said the MAD guy (Mobile Application Development guy).
“And I know how to route and distribute them through different channels. I have analyzed the business and there is big scope for growth” said the BAD guy.
“You know, McDonald has already agreed to take 500 kgs of buns and cakes from us every day”….the MAD guy.
“We have also taken on lease an 18500 sq ft factory space at Hennur. We are arranging 50hp uninterrupted power supply. Factory will work two shifts initially, going to 3 shifts in six months”. We have already lined up for 20 tempos on hire for transportation”. …BAD
“Twenty tempos? What will you do with them?” I asked.
Sir, we have to get 5000 fresh eggs every day. They can’t be sourced from a single point. We have to collect them from different nodal points and bring them to one centralized point. Tempos are required for this purpose.
“Ok, very good. You guys seem to have already done lot of ground work. I am sure you would have drafted a business plan too. What do you want me to look at and how do you want me to help?” I asked.
“Sir, we came to know through RYZE that you have this place to let out in Koramangala. It is a central place with good parking space. If only you remove those computer systems and the cabins, we would like to take it on rent. It will be an ideal central place for us to collect the eggs, store them here and transport them to Hennur”!!
You have to see egg on my face, to believe!
Where is the catch?
It is August. In a small town on the South Coast of France, holiday season is in full swing, but it is raining so there is not too much business happening. Everyone is heavily in debt.
Luckily, a rich Russian tourist arrives in the foyer of the small local hotel. He asks for a room and puts a Euro100 note on the reception counter, takes a key and goes to inspect the room located up the stairs on the thirdfloor.
The hotel owner takes the banknote in a hurry and rushes to his meat supplier to whom he owes E100. The butcher takes the money and races to his wholesaler to pay his debt.
The wholesaler rushes to the farmer to pay E100 for pigs he purchased some time ago.
The farmer triumphantly gives the E100 note to a local prostitute who gave him her services on credit.
The prostitute goes quickly to the hotel, as she owed the hotel for her hourly room use to entertain clients.
At that moment, the rich Russian is coming down to reception and informs the hotel owner that the proposed room is unsatisfactory and takes his E100 back and departs.
There was no profit or income. But everyone no longer has any debt and the small town people look optimistically towards their future.
COULD THIS BE THE SOLUTION TO THE Global Financial Crisis? Or, is there a catch here?
Luckily, a rich Russian tourist arrives in the foyer of the small local hotel. He asks for a room and puts a Euro100 note on the reception counter, takes a key and goes to inspect the room located up the stairs on the thirdfloor.
The hotel owner takes the banknote in a hurry and rushes to his meat supplier to whom he owes E100. The butcher takes the money and races to his wholesaler to pay his debt.
The wholesaler rushes to the farmer to pay E100 for pigs he purchased some time ago.
The farmer triumphantly gives the E100 note to a local prostitute who gave him her services on credit.
The prostitute goes quickly to the hotel, as she owed the hotel for her hourly room use to entertain clients.
At that moment, the rich Russian is coming down to reception and informs the hotel owner that the proposed room is unsatisfactory and takes his E100 back and departs.
There was no profit or income. But everyone no longer has any debt and the small town people look optimistically towards their future.
COULD THIS BE THE SOLUTION TO THE Global Financial Crisis? Or, is there a catch here?
A Dad, a Lad and Direction
A father and his son, a young adult, were driving to the cottage. The father was worried, because his son has been taking his life missing opportunities and he was trying to help his son see that it was time for him to take his life a little more seriously.
“Aw, dad, I know you mean well, and I know I’m not really doing you proud, but I like to party. I’ll get on the right track some day. I don’t need to worry neither do you.”
They drove a little further, when suddenly the son said, “Hey dad, that was the turnoff for the cottage. You missed the turnoff.”
“I know,” said the father. “I think I’ll just keep driving this way for a while. I can always go back later to take the right road.”
A few more minutes – and a couple of turnoffs – passed. The son began to think of the swimming he would miss if they arrived too late.
“Dad, the farther you go down this road, the longer it will take to get back.”
The father replied, “That’s true. The further you go down the wrong track, the harder it is to get back. So when were you thinking of turning your life around to head down the right track?”
“Aw, dad, I know you mean well, and I know I’m not really doing you proud, but I like to party. I’ll get on the right track some day. I don’t need to worry neither do you.”
They drove a little further, when suddenly the son said, “Hey dad, that was the turnoff for the cottage. You missed the turnoff.”
“I know,” said the father. “I think I’ll just keep driving this way for a while. I can always go back later to take the right road.”
A few more minutes – and a couple of turnoffs – passed. The son began to think of the swimming he would miss if they arrived too late.
“Dad, the farther you go down this road, the longer it will take to get back.”
The father replied, “That’s true. The further you go down the wrong track, the harder it is to get back. So when were you thinking of turning your life around to head down the right track?”
Are we heading towards a different kind of India?
I do not think the world will become "Religion-less" in the next 50 years. Christianity and Islam will flourish because they have strong organizations, beliefs, leadership, promotions and funding. India will have more percentage of Muslims and Christians and less percentage of Hindus.
Will this mean that the Indianness will be lost? Indianness on any day will be the summation of the beliefs of people of India on that day. It will constantly evolve or change. Other than generic identities like its borders and languages, its identity today is that it has more Hindu poupulation than other religions.
Why the percentage of religions other than Hindu is growing? Why do Hindus lose out on privileges in their own country when they are the majority? Are patience and tolerance really their virtue or are they only the cover for their weakness? Why do politicians pamper minority community? Why do foreign forces try to control India?
Hinduism has strong Vedic science and universal law. But, are they all well documented, understood, preserved and preached? Hinduism has its share of controversies and confusions. How many Gods, versions, conventions, dress codes and divisions? How many Hindus practice their rituals fully understanding the meaning of them? When a Hindu moves from one state to other or to another country, does his conventions not fly out of window? If one does not have conviction on what he practices, how can he rise up when his beliefs are questioned or violated? Future children will not accept blindly a religion simply because their parents followed a particular religion.
In a free market, people will buy what they are comfortable with. Same way, religions will also compete. Should one cry over conversion? Is it not right of a religion to propagate its merits? Is spirituality exclusive to Hindus? If a particular religion is strong, will it not stand the test of time? If Hinduism is to survive, Hindus have to believe in their religion. Can a true Hindu stand up please?
Will this mean that the Indianness will be lost? Indianness on any day will be the summation of the beliefs of people of India on that day. It will constantly evolve or change. Other than generic identities like its borders and languages, its identity today is that it has more Hindu poupulation than other religions.
Why the percentage of religions other than Hindu is growing? Why do Hindus lose out on privileges in their own country when they are the majority? Are patience and tolerance really their virtue or are they only the cover for their weakness? Why do politicians pamper minority community? Why do foreign forces try to control India?
Hinduism has strong Vedic science and universal law. But, are they all well documented, understood, preserved and preached? Hinduism has its share of controversies and confusions. How many Gods, versions, conventions, dress codes and divisions? How many Hindus practice their rituals fully understanding the meaning of them? When a Hindu moves from one state to other or to another country, does his conventions not fly out of window? If one does not have conviction on what he practices, how can he rise up when his beliefs are questioned or violated? Future children will not accept blindly a religion simply because their parents followed a particular religion.
In a free market, people will buy what they are comfortable with. Same way, religions will also compete. Should one cry over conversion? Is it not right of a religion to propagate its merits? Is spirituality exclusive to Hindus? If a particular religion is strong, will it not stand the test of time? If Hinduism is to survive, Hindus have to believe in their religion. Can a true Hindu stand up please?
Beat the pink blue
For people who are pink slipped, here are some pieces of sound advice.
Number One: Keep your chin up. And walk your head up! You haven’t lost your job because of non-performance; but because of some stupid economic conditions. You are not alone. You’ve got company. If you had been good for many years, you cant't be bad overnight.
Number Two: Don’t waste time searching for another job right now. Just post your resume in portals and forget it, for the time being. Be selective in your Social Networking lest you will end up doing only networking without doing any business.
Number Three: Organize your portfolio. Let your Money earn money for you. Engage yourself productively, as soon as possible. Get out of your house, take a no-frill office space at low rent, start your own work and go to work, Monday to Friday, nine am to six pm. When the going gets tough, the tough gets going.
Number Four: Stick to knitting; meaning, stay broadly within your area of expertise. Do not dabble with unrelated work like Real Estate, Restaurant business etc unless they are within your frame work.
Number Five: Start a small project in your core area of expertise (Eg a mobile application). To look at how you can do the same job outside what you had been doing inside a company. You can sell off your project to other companies once developed.
While doing Number five, associate yourself with a Trainer in teaching. This is very important. It will not only keep you abreast of your technology but also earn you some money. And there is an inherent value to you when you teach or train. I tell you, when you come back home, you will be a proud man.
Are you not able to find work within your frame work? Some thing is wrong. Go back to school.
Remember, you just heard from a guy who was pink slipped, ten years ago. And from my side, I can share my office at Koramangala with you, at nominal cost, provide you guidance in your venture, provide you forums for presenting in Technology events and help you put your act together. Because, I don't have much to do and on the verge of retiring. When things improve, you know you had added expertise to your domain and you will be the top choice for the companies.
Good luck!
Number One: Keep your chin up. And walk your head up! You haven’t lost your job because of non-performance; but because of some stupid economic conditions. You are not alone. You’ve got company. If you had been good for many years, you cant't be bad overnight.
Number Two: Don’t waste time searching for another job right now. Just post your resume in portals and forget it, for the time being. Be selective in your Social Networking lest you will end up doing only networking without doing any business.
Number Three: Organize your portfolio. Let your Money earn money for you. Engage yourself productively, as soon as possible. Get out of your house, take a no-frill office space at low rent, start your own work and go to work, Monday to Friday, nine am to six pm. When the going gets tough, the tough gets going.
Number Four: Stick to knitting; meaning, stay broadly within your area of expertise. Do not dabble with unrelated work like Real Estate, Restaurant business etc unless they are within your frame work.
Number Five: Start a small project in your core area of expertise (Eg a mobile application). To look at how you can do the same job outside what you had been doing inside a company. You can sell off your project to other companies once developed.
While doing Number five, associate yourself with a Trainer in teaching. This is very important. It will not only keep you abreast of your technology but also earn you some money. And there is an inherent value to you when you teach or train. I tell you, when you come back home, you will be a proud man.
Are you not able to find work within your frame work? Some thing is wrong. Go back to school.
Remember, you just heard from a guy who was pink slipped, ten years ago. And from my side, I can share my office at Koramangala with you, at nominal cost, provide you guidance in your venture, provide you forums for presenting in Technology events and help you put your act together. Because, I don't have much to do and on the verge of retiring. When things improve, you know you had added expertise to your domain and you will be the top choice for the companies.
Good luck!
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