Seizing the moment!

3rd July 09, 6.30 pm, Friday. I was clearing my desk to leave. It was a hard week of idling with another idle week lurking ahead. And the Wimbledon men’s semifinal was to commence in thirty minutes. What could be the better way to drown your sorrow and at the same time lift your spirits than having a drink with your friend!

Then the phone rang. “Kumar, please buy a cricket bat for the boy next door. It is his birthday today. Join us for the dinner there. Buy also a toilet broom. Your toilet is stinking”. My wife was screaming over backround noise.

“Toilet broom and bat, from where?” I asked. “From Big Bazaar, Koramangala” she screamed. How do these women sense what we men are up to! They can never let a man have a beer in peace. “But I am having my dinner out and ..…”. She had already disconnected and gone.

My office is just five minutes drive from Big Bazaar. ‘If only I can grab the material, hand it over to my wife fast, then I can still make it to my friend’s place’ I thought. I decided not to park the car at the basement but at one of the side roads so that I can go in and come out soon. But it was dark, there was hardly any parking space and I went up and down in the one way street risking traffic violation. I saw someone taking the car out in a side road and I parked my car in a jiffy. I took my IBM lap top from the rear seat and secured it nicely under my seat in the front. Laptop is my sole occupation in the office.

I ran to Big Bazzar, grabbed a wooden cricket bat of medium size and a plastic broom in five minutes but it took 20 minutes to pay the bill. When I came out, it started drizzling. ‘The toilet broom doesn’t need a carry-bag” I decided. Removed the broom from the bag, tied the carry-bag to my head in order not to get wet, held the bat and broom in each hand and ran to the car in the drizzle.

As I ran to the side road I saw a guy standing near my car with the front door open and having my lap top in his shoulder. It was dark and I couldn’t see his face clearly. I shouted and ran swinging my bat and broom towards him. He got couple of nice hits both from my bat and the broom. I snatched the laptop bag and with couple of more hits he started running. My carry bag had now fully fallen over my face.

“Idiot, you thief”, I screamed and was panting. ‘A close shave’, I thought holding my laptop tightly. I deposited the materials in the passenger seat next to me and tried to start the car. The ignition key didn’t turn and it didn’t start. Cursing, I turned back and I saw a few grocery bags in the rear seat which were not mine. I came out of the car and realized that it was also a Baleno but not my car! I could see my car parked a few meters away and it was the only car parked facing the opposite direction.

I realized that I made a fool of myself. I took my belongings from his car, locked his car with power buttons, drove my car and came to the Koramangala police station. I saw the “thief” sitting in front of the police inspector narrating the incident in agitated tone. The guy couldn’t recognize me without the broom and bat in hand and the bag in my head.

I almost fell on his feet, apologized and explained to the inspector. I told the guy that his car and his stuff were safe and offered to take him there. But he was very angry. His shoulder was hurting. Thanks to the broom, there were few scratches on his face.

“You are a witch, a mad and stupid guy. You don’t have any manners. You looked a robber and terrorist combined, what sort of a man are you?” He went on and on. “I am not mad or a witch” I protested. “It was a mistaken identity”.

In the meantime, the guy picked up the lathi that was lying there and wanted to demonstrate how I beat him. Thankfully the inspector snatched it back.

As we were trading charges, the inspector intervened and told me the consequences of my action including imprisonment. I got scared. “No sir, it was not intentional sir, dark sir, raining sir, and my car was facing the other side sir”. I had never put so many sirs even to my Chairman.

My last words landed me in another problem. “Tell me, how did you enter the street? It was one way!” The inspector, in the midst of getting frequent phone calls asked.

“Na na na, tha tha, ba ba ba” I was blabbering some swarams.

Inspector was getting impatient with calls and my alabana. “See, you had hit him. So it was alright that he called you a witchu, a monsteru, an idiotu, a terroristu, a robberu, a mad and a stupid guy. Instead of fighting, why don’t you two guys go out and have a beer?”

This made our guy laugh hearing more adjectives. Seizing the moment, I put my hand on his shoulder apologetically, offered to drop him near his car and took him in my car. I explained to him how his car and his IBM laptop bag were similar to mine and that caused confusion. We were laughing. I promised a treat. We went to Srikrishna Café and had coffee. I came to know that he recently became a RYZE BBN member when I said that I would be posting this incident!

Then I told him jokingly that it was all the more fun hitting a fellow Ryzer.

He said politely, “Kumar, finish your coffee quickly and go home. You have got a toilet to clean!